JOKE of the DAY

[Dennisthe Menace]

It's on there now...or I at least hope so ......

[dubtrub]

Navy releases prisoner-

U.S.Navy releases Al Qaeda Terrorist - I can't believe it!!!!!
The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him
extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea .
In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 4 door Sedan automobile
upon being released from custody.

The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.....

[Dennisthe Menace]

Thanks Danny it seems I'm now having trouble pulling up PIX again ......

[dubtrub]

In the future when you find a photo you want to place here on the forum, rather than simply copy and paste (which isn't a good idea) put your cursor on the photo then right click. A menu will come up and you will see properties. Click on properties and a URL (address) will come up. Highlight that address, copy it and return here and click on the Img button. It should look something like this [IMG] [IMG], simply paste the URL you copied between the two middle ][, like this, [IMG]paste url here[IMG].

[Dennisthe Menace]

In the future when you find a photo you want to place here on the forum, rather than simply copy and paste (which isn't a good idea) put your cursor on the photo then right click. A menu will come up and you will see properties. Click on properties and a URL (address) will come up. Highlight that address, copy it and return here and click on the Img button. It should look something like this [IMG] [IMG], simply paste the URL you copied between the two middle ][, like this, [IMG]paste url here[IMG].

I know, that's what you told me before, and that's what I did. But sometimes it just
doesn't seem to want to work, which I don't get......but...I did do exactly that.
Anyways, thanks again Danny

[dubtrub]

In this particular case you have to hold down the mouse button longer while high lighting the URL since it was three lines long. If you don't get the entire URL address it will not transfer.

[Dennisthe Menace]

I TRULY DID NOT KNOW THIS!

Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips



THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME
WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?

[Veenture]

saw the pic! A really good one too...

Too bad about the car and the 50 bucks though, ...could've been used as a down payment on a nice Mosrite!!!

[Dennisthe Menace]

GRANDPA and the I.R.S
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,
which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.
'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered
and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing ?' Grandpa asks.
'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy
could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.. 'This
morning,when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
he bet me twenty-fivethousand dollars that he could come in
here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about
it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!!

[Veenture]

GRANDPA and the I.R.S
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE ...//... 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-fivethousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' ...//...

...heh, heh, heh........... .........this give me an idea ...........!!!!